Flickering

It feels like waking up in the night,

Yearning for rest, 

Seeking the soothing feeling of recovery,

Wanting the body relaxed and mind tender.

Instead it repeats,

Up and down,

Thoughts and emotions grow weary,

Back and forth,

Morning does not arrive soon enough.

Each iteration,

Over and over,

You know there is an end,

But the finish alludes to our search.

Akin to this restless dread,

My heart revolves around grief and peace,

My soul moves from regret to understanding,

Then back again.

I wish to feel proud again,

I long for confidence in my stride,

When will my soul connect joyfully to those around?

How long until intimacy is revealed again?

We are to be still,

To know he is God,

We are to listen,

To quiet ourselves.