Faded
There are days when the sky is gray,
When the wind does not blow and nothing remarkable occurs,
It is not the hope of a bright blue sky with piercing rays,
It is not the inverted warmth of heavy snowfall,
These days are dull and anticipatory,
Here, we find ourselves faded.
Analysis
1. The Absence of Stimulus
There are days when the sky is gray, / When the wind does not blow and nothing remarkable occurs,
This isn't a poem about a storm; it’s a poem about a void. The lack of wind suggests a total lack of momentum. In the journey of healing, there are often periods where the "work" of processing pain stops, but the "reward" of happiness hasn't arrived yet. It is the flatline of the emotional landscape.
2. The Rejection of Extremes
It is not the hope of a bright blue sky with piercing rays, / It is not the inverted warmth of heavy snowfall,
This is a very insightful observation of the human psyche. The speaker is saying:
They aren't in a place of Optimism (the bright blue sky).
But they aren't even in a place of Dramatic Melancholy (the "inverted warmth" of a blizzard).
Sometimes, heavy sadness is easier to deal with than dullness because sadness has weight and character. This "gray" is neither hot nor cold; it’s just room temperature. It’s the absence of any feeling at all.
3. The Tension of the "Wait"
These days are dull and anticipatory,
The word "anticipatory" is the heartbeat of the poem. It suggests that this boredom isn't peaceful—it’s tense. You are waiting for the other shoe to drop, or waiting for a sign of life, but the sky remains silent. It is the anxiety of the "in-between."
4. The Loss of Self
Here, we find ourselves faded.
When there is no color in the world around us, we begin to lose our own edges. To be "faded" is to feel less like a person and more like a ghost. If the previous poem was about "naming" the self to survive, this one is about the struggle to even see the self when the environment provides no contrast.
Summary
This poem captures Ennui—that specific, soul-crushing boredom that often follows a period of high intensity. It’s the "hangover" of survival. You are left in the quiet, wondering who you are supposed to be when you aren't fighting a fire.